Gross Sight in Hotel Window, a Hot Time at the Dentist's

Each Monday, Patch takes a peek at some of the more surprising, shocking, stunning and occasionally silly police-related incidents reported throughout New Jersey for "OMGs from NJ PDs." Some of this week's reports:

Cleanup, Aisle 9: If you're a frequent shoplifter, you're probably pretty cynical about loss prevention specialists and other store employees. You're a pro. Ain't no rent-a-cop gonna slow you down. But you probably aren't quite as cocky when you run into the real, badge-possessing deal, are you? Toms River police said one shoplifter had the misfortune of crossing paths with an off-duty officer. And things got a bit messy when the shoplifter got into a tussle with a store employee, police said. We're thinking the alleged shoplifter and his wife, also charged, probably didn't save enough with their alleged five-finger discount to pay for a combined $10,000 in bail.

Nothing to Smile About: No one likes going to the dentist. But you'd probably like it even less if while you were there, someone tried to burn down the office. Bloomfield police say a man tried that, pouring a flammable liquid on the floor, because he was upset about dental work from five years before. Clearly, he didn't know he could just leave a review on the Bloomfield Patch places page (we've got one for businesses in every Patch-covered area), which we're sure would have gotten his point across just as effectively.

Some Things, You Don't Try to Lift: Cops like holding onto their guns. Well, it's not so much that they like holding onto their guns, as they really don't like you trying to get a hold of them. Parsippany police said a shoplifter learned that the hard way after he tried to disarm an officer. The shoplifter failed, and wound up with a face full of pepper spray, police said.

Special Delivery: When you've got a warrant out on an alleged Megan's Law offense (and we're really hoping that's a totally hypothetical you, not the literal you), the last person you want to see is an officer. So the last place you probably want to wind up is at an officer's house (well, second to last; the last place is probably jail). South Brunswick police say they caught a man when he showed up to a house offering to cut down trees, and an officer in full uniform opened the door. The officer was skeptical of someone going door-to-door and thought the man was acting suspiciously, so he investigated further, police said. We're thinking telemarketing might be a better gig for this guy in the future. It's less confrontational.

Yuck. Furthermore, Yuck: You know what's ickier than a guy allegedly exposing himself from a hotel window to passers-by? A guy allegedly doing it twice. The second time, South Brunswick police say, the man had the blinds pulled down to obstruct his face (but not to obstruct the things you'd want obstructed). But it didn't take long for officers to figure out who was staying in the hotel room. And even if they didn't recognize the description, they recognized his alleged behavior, as he'd been arrested in a similar alleged incident just a few weeks earlier.